Get Help Now

If you or your family are in immediate danger please call the police on 999 (if you can’t speak, cough or tap the handset then press 55 on your phone - the police will know it’s an emergency)

In a non-emergency situation, you can call Kent Police on 101.

For non-emergency support and safety planning:

Oasis’s east kent and Medway helpline:
0800 917 9948
Mon, Tue, Thu, Fri 9am - 4.30pm.

Or email helpline@oasisdaservice.org
(if it’s safe to do so)

For 24/7 support call the national helpline
0808 2000 247

If you are under 18 and don’t feel you want to contact us, a trusted person may be able to help you. This might be:

  • Your teacher

  • Your parent, guardian or carer (if they're not the abusive person)

  • A family friend or neighbour you know very well and trust

  • A nurse or doctor

  • A police officer

    Childline [link] is a free, private, and confidential service for anyone under 19. You can call about anything, big or small, and not just domestic abuse. Their number is 0800 1111.

Police help

If your abuser has assaulted you or you are afraid for your own or for others’ safety you can call the police. The police have the power to provide you with immediate protection at any time of the day or night. If you can, report an incident to the police straight away. In a non-emergency, you can contact the police on 101 or visit your local station. If you need an interpreter, the police will be able to provide you with one.

Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme

If you want to find out if a current or former partner has been violent in a previous relationship you have the right to ask the police, who will carry out checks. If they show that the person has a record of abusive offences, or there is other information to indicate that they pose a risk, the Police will consider sharing this information with you. You can call 101 or go to a police station to make an application.

drop into a ONE STOP SHOP

One Stop Shop is a free and confidential advice service.

You can meet a range of professionals virtually or face-to-face that will be able to give you free, confidential advice about your situation. This is often the best place to start getting help and will enable you to seek advice about possible legal protection, housing, benefits, family support, and to make an informed decision about your future.

Oasis’s One Stop Shop Shops

East Kent (Thanet and Dover) Virtual One Stop Shop

This is currently a virtual service, running during these days and times:

Monday – Thursday 10:00am to 12:00pm
Call: 07856856278
Email: EastKent1SS@gmail.com 

An administrator will take your call or email and arrange for an appropriate professional to get back to you by 12:00 that day.

Medway

Sunlight Centre, 105 Richmond Road, Gillingham ME7 1LX
Every Tuesday 9.30 - 11.30am

Masks and hand sanitisers are available, social distancing is followed.

There are One Stop Shops all over Kent and Medway – you can find the one closest to you by visiting www.domesticabuseservices.org.uk.

Oasis Services you can use

Keeping safe

Thinking about or making a plan to leave your situation can be scary and hard. There may be an increased risk of harm from your partner if they suspect you are making plans. It is therefore important that you plan what you will do, where you will go and who you should tell. Take a look at our detailed advice.

Cover your tracks online

To minimise the chance of someone knowing you have visited this website and digital stalking, use our safety information below.

  • Use the internet at a local library, friend’s house, or at work, if possible.

  • Use a password on your computer and phone, and don’t disclose it to anyone.

  • Use “Private Browsing" or "Incognito" windows to view information online that you do not wish to have stored on your internet history. This won’t stop online services from seeing what you get up to, but it won’t leave any traces of your activity on your computer (no history, web cache or anything else) and so it’s always a useful first step to take.

  • Deleting your browsing history - for Internet Explorer and Firefox hold down the Ctrl key on the keyboard, then press the H key (Ctrl, Alt and H for Opera). Find any entries that say www.oasisdaservice.org.uk, right click and choose Delete. For Google Chrome, go to the three dots in the top right of the toolbar, select ‘Settings’ and go to ‘Clear browsing data’

  • Install free antispy software for your computer -

  • Windows www.windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows7/products/features/windows-defender.

  • Apple Mac www.avg.com/gb-en/avg-antivirus-for-mac which is also free and easy to use.

  • Always log out

  • Remove mobile spyware from your phone and disable geolocation tracking and geotagging (and on any social media platforms you use)

  • Set privacy settings on your social media channels and instant messaging apps - follow our detailed advice here.

Please note that this safety information may not completely hide your tracks. Many browser types have features that display recently visited sites. There is also spyware that can be used more secretly to track your activity.

Exit site button

The green Exit Site button on the right of the Oasis website will quickly hide the page but you will still need to delete your history fully to cover your tracks.

Full guidance can be found on our Keeping safe page.

National helplines

All helplines are free to use

National Domestic Abuse Helpline

  • 0808 2000 247 
    24 /7
    Translation facilities for callers whose first language is not English, and a
    service for callers who are deaf or hard of
    hearing are available.

Men

  • Survivors UK
    National helpline for male survivors of rape and sexual abuse
    020 3598 3898 + text and chat services
    www.survivorsuk.org

LGBTQIA+

Stalking and harassment

  • Paladin Services
    0207 840 8960

Forced marriage

Honour-based abuse

Polish

Legal advice

Perpetrators of abuse
Offers information and advice to people who are abusive towards their partners. 

Signposting victims to safety

Supporting a friend or relative who is experiencing abuse can be daunting, from knowing the “right way to ask” to signposting them to safety. Victims often don’t realise that what they’re experiencing is abuse, and it can take a time for them to take steps to leave the situation.

Here are some suggestions if you are worried about someone you know:

  • Don’t be afraid – ask kindly but directly “are you ok? Are you being harmed in some way?” Remember that you care enough to ask

  • Use supportive language and questioning, for example “Is everything ok?”, “I’m worried about you?”

  • Gently reflect back “How did that make you feel?” “That’s unusual, that must have really upset you” “You don’t deserve to be treated that way”

  • Validate the situation - “I can’t imagine there is anything you would have said or done to warrant that behaviour”

  • Don’t judge, don’t push for information. It can take time for someone to disclose and be ready to leave. Just be there. Be patient, go at their pace.

  • Ask what they need from you to help them – once someone has disclosed that they’re experiencing abuse, find out where your local services are and signpost how they can contact them. Consent is important. Remember to look after yourself too.

  • Keep safety information to hand - on your phone, use our QR code keyrings [add pic], in a notebook.

  • Let the person know that they are not alone and give them resources and numbers they can call.

  • Offer to help draft their questions and talking points or even visit a One Stop Shop drop in centre together. Practical help, like babysitting children while the victim goes to an appointment, can be a big help and gives them back some control.

The person experiencing the abuse needs to refer themselves for help, or be referred by a professional service. You cannot make a referral on their behalf. So it’s important that you have information of who to get in touch with, for them to make that first step.

It will be tough to watch your loved one as they waver back and forth between staying and leaving an unhealthy relationship. You will be tempted to take control and do all the work in getting them out. Avoid the temptation to be a saviour.